Dear lunch that I started eating two hours ago,

At some point you will be in my belly. I promise. You’re already cold, and by the time I finish you, you will be bordering on unsafe. You won’t make me sick, because I don’t have time for that shit. And you will still be delicious, because I need you to be.

Love,
Me

Dear lunch that I started eating two hours ago,

At some point you will be in my belly. I promise. You’re already cold, and by the time I finish you, you will be bordering on unsafe. You won’t make me sick, because I don’t have time for that shit. And you will still be delicious, because I need you to be.

Love,
Me

Little A is yelling for me right now, because he just pooped and has deemed the poop TOO GROSS for him to want to wipe it. He doesn’t want his hands near it, so he’s decided that I need to take care of it for him.

"Mom! I’m waiting!"

"I’ll be there in a sec."

What he doesn’t realize is that I’m just going to stand in the doorway and talk him through doing it himself. Why the fuck would I want to wipe a shit that even the person who made it thinks is disgusting? Come on, little dude.